Don’t want to trample on too many people’s sensibilities — and besides who wants to share a moment that they still wish never happened or have not shared with anyone in these 18 plus years and has no desire to do so — and I’m not asking about that / those instances…
What we’re looking for here is that incident that was just so, so, horrible but now brings a chuckle or a smile whenever you think about it… Examples could be hitting a very wrong note in choir or band, missing a tackle or an embarrassing slip on the athletic field, the slip, fall, trip, etc. in cheerleading, danceline, flags, marching band — whatever — Hey it was your moment… I actually laughed a mine the same day it happened — though it was truly a bad moment, overall nothing was lost…
The moment I’m referring to is the American Legion Oratory Contest, Senior Year — I mentioned this story was coming in BITD V, and now here it is…
For those of you who don’t know, Oratory is reciting a prepared / scripted speech from memory without the use of notes. In this format the judges have the script, you are simply there to perform it…
The contest format was for an Oratory speech on the US Constitution followed by an 3 to 5 minute extemporaneous (on the fly — only a few minutes to prepare) speech from a list of topics. As I was to represent THS in Speech at CENLA Literary Rally, as well as a few tournaments for Extemp, I chose to do this for practice.
The event was at the American Legion Post just off MacArthur on Rapides, just the other side of Texas Avenue, behind a gas station, now a bar… Anyway arrived with my text — a pre-1994 Republican Revolution take on Congressional abuses of "Tip" O’Neill and his ilk vs. the intent of the founding fathers… Actually not exactly what the contest was about, but that’s what it was — pre-Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, Dick Armey, et al…
When it was my turn for the Oratory, I presented the judges with copies of the presentation and took my final composure breath and "FLASH"… That was no bright light from above of my short life before my eyes, it was a "FLASH" a woman in the audience snapping a picture and with that "Flash" my mind went totally blank — the only word I could remember and still remember today is the first "Congress"…
I paused, looked down at my feet, and nothing… Nothing at all… After a few moments I had no choice but to apologize to the judges and say I could not go on… I wasn’t really there for the Oratory, but you always want to at least put on the show you arrived to put on… I allowed them to keep their copies of the speech and that was the end of that part of the program…
The next phase was the Extemporaneous speaking which was a total breeze. In the end, the judges thanked the participants, said my Extemp was very good and perhaps if I had taken a few more moments I could have continued with the Oratory — with class I thanked them for their critique.
Now this is where the "it wasn’t near as bad as you have heard"… I got 3rd place in this event… Not because of my superior Extemp or the content of my Oratory, but because there were only 3 contestants… So it was a running joke with Mrs. Lindsay and myself about the award — I reported how I placed to Bert Smith who was then like "overseer of instruction" or some title of some sort — he didn’t need to know all the facts… Anyway the next morning on Lynnette’s "Good Morning THS" broadcast, there it was "Congratulations to Kevin Brunson for placing 3rd at the American Legion Oratory Contest"… Oooos and ahs, and congrats from those in that 2nd Period Advanced Math class — thank you… thank you — there was nothing to it !!! (I wasn’t trying to be modest or humble) REALLY there was nothing to it !!! all with a slight shake of the head and smile… Now everyone knows the terrible truth !!! Or as Paul Harvey says — "and now you know the rest of the story…" HA !!!
But this event would have another day… At Baccalaureate, Lindsay presenting the Speech awards calls me up for the Certificate presentation for my "3rd Place" finish… All the applause in the walk to accept — smiling and shaking my head as I went to the podium… When she handed me the certificate and I shook her hand, I whispered to her, "Not bad — placed 3 of 3" with a slight chuckle…
I never looked at that speech again after that day — not even after the event… I stapled a copy of it in the HS Journal we kept for Ranson, but never looked at it again… 3 of 3…
Well, that’s mine… Does anyone out there "feel lucky… Well do ya ??? Punk !!!" (Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry)
THS 88 on the Web 